2019 SLB Draft Power Rankings: Voted on by the People for the People


Written by: Adam Henning

Thanks to Survey Monkey gathering these results was fairly easy. What is not easy is fending off all the fricken emails they have sent me since setting this damn survey up. They are relentless! Each manager was to rank the other SLB managers’ draft from 1 to 13 – 1 being the best, 13 being the worst without voting for their own team. First place votes received 13 points, second place votes received 12, 3rd place with 11 votes, so on and so forth, with 1 point going to a ranking of 13. You get it.

I tell ya what. If you don’t know get it just raise your hand and I’ll have Tommy Boy come hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you’re a RETARD.

So, points are good. You want points.

For each ranking you will see UNADJUSTED SCORE. This score is what it sounds like – unadjusted and raw. Oh, baby I like it raw! An ADJUSTED SCORE. This score I removed each team’s highest and lowest ranking so one asshole can’t fuck with the rankings one way or another. It takes multiple assholes to score you higher or lower. The other data listed is self-explanatory. The rankings below are listed from 14th to 1st based on the ADJUSTED SCORE Rankings. There wasn’t much difference between the raw and adjusted really – only change was a flip-flop of 7th/8th place and created a tie at 10th/11th.

beerfarts-square14th – Genies in a Bottle
Unadjusted Score: 44
Adjusted Score: 35
Highest Ranking: 6th
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: HAHA, NO
Last-Place Votes: 3

Yasiel Puig. That is all. Grant had more last place votes so there’s that?

radioactiverush00113th – Radioactive Rush
Unadjusted Score: 46
Adjusted Score: 36
Highest Ranking: 5th
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: ZILCH
Last-Place Votes: 4

Grant received more last-place votes than any other manager but still managed to beat Jeremiah. Holy ballsacks Batman. I, personally, voted Grant last with a bullet despite Yasiel Puig.

SLB_CryingMonkey12th – Salmon League Disappointments
Unadjusted Score: 48
Adjusted Score: 39
Highest Ranking: 6th
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: ZIPPO
Last-Place Votes: 3

Johnny had seven managers rank his draft 12th or 13th but the other six managers rated his draft from 6th to 9th.

insaneaudio-new-logo11th – InSaNeAuDiO
Unadjusted Score: 60
Adjusted Score: 49
Highest Ranking: 5th
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: ZERO
Last-Place Votes: 0

No last-place votes is a win. We all knew Jesse was the better Graves – this exercise just confirms it.

seabass00110th – Sea Bass
Unadjusted Score: 62
Adjusted Score: 49
Highest Ranking: 2nd
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: NIL
Last-Place Votes: 2

Craig managed to get someone crazy enough to rank his draft second best but also had two managers rate him with the worst. Tell me how that works? His draft is tied for the highest variance, which means nobody knows what the hell is going on. Seems like managers either loved it or hated it but since he is ranked 10th it seems more for the latter. Sorry Craiggers. Let’s hope an early return on Severino.

cheese-high-final0019th – High Cheese
Unadjusted Score: 84
Adjusted Score: 71
Highest Ranking: 3rd
Lowest Ranking: 12th
First Place Votes: TRY AGAIN
Last-Place Votes: 0

Meh. Nothing too high. Nothing too low. It is rather funny to me that the 9th, 8th, and 7th ranked teams had a manager rank these teams higher than the 5th or 6th ranked team. Consistency is key I guess. High Cheese is the worst of the average tier.

Morgan = JetHawks8th – 38 MPH Heaters
Unadjusted Score: 86
Adjusted Score: 74
Highest Ranking: 3rd
Lowest Ranking: 13th
First Place Votes: OF COURSE NOT
Last-Place Votes: 2

The highest ranked manager that managed to draw last-place votes. Maybe people just hate Morgan. He did manage three 4th place votes, though.

zima-47th – ZIMA
Unadjusted Score: 88
Adjusted Score: 73
Highest Ranking: 2nd
Lowest Ranking: 11th
First Place Votes: NOT THIS YEAR
Last-Place Votes: 0

Jack Sparow Flag-016th – Captain Jack
Unadjusted Score: 98
Adjusted Score: 83
Highest Ranking: 4th
Lowest Ranking: 9th
First Place Votes: WRONG
Last-Place Votes: 0

dome_dog_logo5th – Dome Dog
Unadjusted Score: 99
Adjusted Score: 85
Highest Ranking: 4th
Lowest Ranking: 10th
First Place Votes: DOUGHNUT
Last-Place Votes: 0

Dome Dog barely sneaks past Captain Jack for the best of the average – thanks to Levi and Morgan’s vote which, were the last two polls to come through. 8 votes ranking 6th or better – I will take it. Nobody loved it but nobody hated it – except Grant who ranked it 10th. But, what does he know?

groundhogface0024th – The Groundhogs
Unadjusted Score: 121
Adjusted Score: 105
Highest Ranking: 1st
Lowest Ranking: 11th
First Place Votes: 1
Last-Place Votes: 0

Only four teams received first-place votes and The Groundhogs was one of them. Jay’s draft tied with Craig’s with the highest variance. Somebody really hated his draft but seven votes in the top 3 is the reason Jay is ranked 4th.

crackerjack-alternate0033rd – Cracker Jack
Unadjusted Score: 135
Adjusted Score: 116
Highest Ranking: 1st
Lowest Ranking: 8th
First Place Votes: 2
Last-Place Votes: 0

Kunkels. Kunkels. Kunkels. Ewww.

salmonkings-red-n-black-20192nd – Salmon Kings
Unadjusted Score: 150
Adjusted Score: 128
Highest Ranking: 1st
Lowest Ranking: 5th
First Place Votes: 4
Last-Place Votes: 0

All 13 votes slotted him within the top 5. Sadly, its only good enough for second best. Hell, it doesn’t even give him the title of highest-rated Kunkel!

moneygrubbers4life1st – Money Grubbers
Unadjusted Score: 153
Adjusted Score: 136
Highest Ranking: 1st
Lowest Ranking: 10th
First Place Votes: 7
Last-Place Votes: 0

Mike dominated the rankings and it really wasn’t all that close. Seven first-place votes is pretty damn impressive. That 10th place vote? One of your brothers doesn’t like you very much, Mike. I will let you figure out which one it was. Kind of funny his shittiest ranking came from a fellow Kunkel. I can’t wait to watch Mike blow it again this year.



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