SLB vs MLB: Team Comparisons


It’s once again time to match-up each member of the Salmon League with the big league counterpart.

I did something similar three years ago and it produced some very entertaining discussion on the SLBlog and on the message board.

As such, I figured it was time for an updated look at the SLB vs MLB comparisons based on the events of the last three seasons and the league’s (most recent) expansion.

Without any further ado, here are the updated SLB vs MLB Comparisons:

High Cheese = Texas Rangers

Levi = RangersThis franchise, while still relatively new in the grand scheme of things, is on an incredible hot streak. Recent years have been filled with unbridled success despite the front office constantly being put in a situation where they must replace superstars. Whether or not this level of success is sustainable remains to be seen, but in the short-term, this looks like a franchise that has it all figured out and should be on everyone’s radar as a potential championship winning club.

Captain Jack Sparrow = Boston Red Sox

Travis = Red SoxThere was a time, not all that long ago, that this team was considered among the elite in the league. The club had a core group of players and was able to surround them with great role players year in and year out to make the playoffs and even snag a championship. That core has since evaporated and the team is working to build from within to create the next great era for this once dominant franchise.

ZIMA = Milwaukee Brewers

TCB = BrewersThis is a plucky little club that everyone wants to see succeed. Hype and expectations for this franchise seem to be high every year, but they seem to fall short of the mark time and time again. The occasional trip to the postseason is enough to consistently dangle the carrot and show everyone the potential this club has, but until the club makes the decision to go “all in” they’ll never get over the hump.

Radioactive Rush = Miami Marlins

Grant = MarlinsThis club is doomed unless it finds new ownership. It seems that this club is always spinning its wheels and never moving forward. Despite having a number of talented players on the roster over the years, this club always seems to get fleeced in trades and ends up with nothing to show for these “shrewd” business moves. It is imperative that this club finds new ownership or, at the very least, undergoes a complete change in management philosophy if they ever intend to compete.

Dome Dog = Philadelphia Phillies

Adam = PhilliesThis club is just a few short seasons removed from being a championship team, from looking like world beaters, from appearing as though they were locked into long-term success. Now the club is coming off an incredibly disappointing season that saw injuries to key members of the ball club and has undoubtedly left the fan base questioning whether management has the chops to dig themselves out of this hole.

38 MPH Heaters = Lancaster JetHawks
Morgan = JetHawks
This franchise is a low-level minor league affiliate for a rebuilding major league club. A look at the club’s relatively short history shows little success and leaves little room for optimism. This club needs new ownership or a complete overhaul in management philosophy to turn things around and move up. Although plenty of great ballplayers have come through this organization, nothing has been done to capitalize on that and build a winning franchise.

InSaNeAuDiO = Colarado Rockies

G-Doggy = RockiesThis team has some talent, there’s no denying that. The issue seems to be putting it all together and staying healthy. Injuries to some important players have cost this team success over the years and the front office, despite putting some great talent together, doesn’t appear to have that know-how to put the team over-the-top and turn this crew into regular contenders.

Sea Bass 8.0 = Cleveland Indians

Craiggers = IndiansThis is a team with a pretty lengthy history, most of it full of disappointment. Despite a brief period of success and a close-but-no-cigar championship run, the club has fallen on hard times and hasn’t made the playoffs in roughly half-a-decade. In that time the franchise has repeatedly relied on the same injured players time and time again, only to get spurned. There has been a lot of turnover of old retreads and it looks as though management is embracing a new philosophy. It might be time for a return to prominence.

cracker jack = Tampa Bay Rays

Junkel = RaysThe team is consistently consistent. It seems that every year they’re competitive and should be considered a legitimate threat. The club has no qualms about making a big trade to build for the future and is always on the hunt for an opportunity to make the team better on the cheap. This club could win a championship every single season if things break correctly, but even if they don’t, expect this team to be in the mix come playoff time, ready to play the role of spoiler.

The Dominators = Los Angeles Dodgers

Steven = DodgersThis is one of the most-storied franchises in the league and it has a long history dotted with success and failures along the way. Despite going through many long periods of irrelevancy and downright buffoonery at the helm; the club currently appears to be on a big upswing. Motivation and enthusiasm for the future are very high and the club appears to be poised for future success thanks to some amazing young talent and a rejuvenated front office.

j’s team = Cincinnati Reds

Jay = RedsThis is yet another franchise with a long and storied history. This club has been around since the beginning, but hasn’t won a championship in quite some time. In recent years, this team has been good, but not great. There is a solid track record of success despite not getting over the final hurdle in recent years. The franchise has relied very heavily on a strong offensive core and surprising pitching performances. There is a lot of potential for this club to really break through and become a force, but it might take the type of blockbuster move management is often reluctant to make.

S. L. Disappointment = Chicago Cubs

John = CubsThis team has been around since the beginning. The club won a championship back in the bygone days of the league, but that is long-since a distant memory. Year after year there seems to be a glimmer of hope that the team will finally turn things around and break through to capture another championship or, at the very least, return to the postseason. Things are certainly looking up as the management’s philosophy has changed and is now focused on building through the draft and getting younger and more athletic. That fact notwithstanding, the club is still synonymous with losing.

money grubbers = New York Yankees

Mike = YankeesThere once was a time when this club was the envy of the league. Everyone wanted to play here and it was believed they had an unbeatable strategy. In recent years, however, the club has looked long-in-the-tooth and many are beginning to question whether they are using the right philosophy to win. Despite being a perennial favorite, they’re rapidly becoming overlooked as the championships have slowly begun to dry up. The amount of talent and front-office know-how is still top-notch, but the club is definitely at a cross roads coming into 2013.

Genies in a Bottle = St. Louis Cardinals

Graves = CardinalsThis club is steady as a rock. They’re not the flashiest bunch, but they win. Year-in and year-out, they punch their ticket to the playoffs like clockwork. It seems that no matter how many stars they lose, they always find a way to get back to the Promised Land using a combination of young talent and veterans looking for a shot at redemption. The club is a legitimate contender to win the pennant and the championship every single season.


5 thoughts on “SLB vs MLB: Team Comparisons

  1. Steven February 17, 2013 / 2:52 pm

    I hate the Dodgers, but I’ll take ’em!

    Haha! I love this! It’s good to wait a couple years to do it, but I wish it could be an every year article.

    Justin is so the Rays!

    The only one I’m truly sketchy on is Jay. Not sure if he totally is the Reds, but I see what you’re saying.


    • Jeremiah Graves February 17, 2013 / 3:11 pm

      Reds make a lot of sense. They’re a team that’s never a sexy pick, but (especially in recent years), they’re a playoff caliber team with some real potential. They’ve missed the playoffs a time or two, but they’ve got the chops to make a deep run if/when things break right for ’em. Plus they’re the oldest franchise in baseball and Jay has been around since day one.


  2. money grubbers February 17, 2013 / 4:34 pm

    Sadly I don’t think I can get mad at the diss. Good news though, I still have all those championships and second place finishes and you all wish you could make it that far in the playoffs every year.


  3. S. L. DISAPPOINTMENTS March 4, 2013 / 12:38 pm

    Ha the Cubs totally true!!!


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